(The title says everything... Please don't read if you really can't stand stupid complains. I know they're stupid, at least I'm this much realistic about myself. But still I believe I'm not strong enough to just stop saying them and do everything I should...)

Honestly, I thank God there's deviantart. 'Cause, without it, I probably wouldn't have seen so many incredible arts... Which always give me a huge kick of motivation. But... I wouldn't have got also so... jealous. Yes, to tell the truth, whenever I have time to sit and check on some old deviant works (now I have only 2,000 to check! Wohoo! ...There was something like 4,000, you know...") I get pretty sad and down, and say "why can't I draw like that?!". Well, the answer is simple - because you don't practice, girl! Now that is a hell big motivation to me - without it I might have not draw anything... And, that'd be all - but, if I really want to get better I should all day and all night draw animals, trees, clothes, hands, boots, etc, right... And it's more complicated in reality... I'm quite aware of the fact, that I won't probably ever become a professional artist or something, and it's actually a waste of time to draw too much... This will get me nowhere. I should concentrate on things that are still possible for me, 'cause (I know it sounds funny) I'm getting older T_T. Come on, I'm already on university, and I still hadn't find my goal in life. Maybe I'm too ambitious, but I would like this goal to be something BIG... Which means, it will bring me everything I need to be happy. Drawing is nice and relax me a lot (until I see others' works or forget to study), I'm absolutely sure I won't quit it anyway. Just motivation for it is getting weaker... Actually, the ONLY thing that makes me want to draw something 'whoa, amazing' is deviantart. Because of this 'green-eyed monster' inside me, which shows everytime I turn on the page, and see some beautiful arts and it speaks to me: 'you have to be better than him/her! Go and draw! NOW!' So I start to draw eventaully, until I realize, that I suck so much that it's impossible for me to be better than somebody xD. Alright, I know you're bored to hell by all my talking, but I hope you understand at least a bit, that I'm... quite torn inside. Between my dreams and reality~~ (oh, that sounds so tragically..."). That's why I add something new so rarely. But, personally, I think... It's quite a shame, that drawing has to remain only my hobby... Life is brutal... But I have to find a job soon...

Apart from this... I still have a bit of free time . So...
I SWEAR TO ALL OF YOU THAT THOSE PICS LISTED BELOW WILL BE FROM NOW ON MY PRIORITIES! IT'S A PROMISE!!!
(In the end, I have whole summer to finish them, for God's sake...)

=== KIRIBANS ===

KIRIBAN GAME ---> END! Those are the winners (who still wait for their prizes, sorry... I suck...")
1) 2,000 pageviewer -> (congratulations!)
2) 2,222 pageviewer -> (again, congarts!)
3) 2,500 pageviewer -> (jeez, that's MY lucky day XD)

Well, and that'll be an end for now. I must go and start drawing promised pics~~... When I finish we can start thinking about new kiriban game . (I kinda like this whole idea...)


=== TO-DO LIST===

Right, I'm slowly beginning to get lost in it, so, I decided to make a short "to do" list. Maybe this will motivate me...
1. reference sheets from "Sweet sweet pain" (Joanna, doctor Gallack, Jose, Angelo, Miki)
2. reference sheets from "Heaven's/Earth's Affairs" (Sakura, Ayumi, Kyoko, Precel, Kapsel, Werbel, Nature)
3. reference sheet of fantasy characters (13 persons)
4. Venus, HP fic (character sheet)
5. Ryanu, Grin SP (character sheet)
6. Orion Milo, TEOG (character sheet)
7. pictures' series "In vogue" (sth like 25 persons)
8. pictures' series "Demon boy" (5 devils)
9. chibi "vogue" characters from Ryo-o-hi (5 Inoshishi, Tohe, Inu, Usagi)
10. "I want to be an angel", pic.
11. "Wielka miłość Syriusza", pic. from HP fic
12. "Lost fight", pic. Nas from TEOG
13. "Assassin", pic. Breeze from Shadow Demon
14. Take the sadness from my eyes", pic. Sleepie
15. "Autumn song", pic. Ryanu
16. "OC: Scarlet - Body music", pic. Scarlet
17. ID, chibi dragon
18. "Jingle bells", pic. Flame "Pou"
19. "First snow", pic. chibi Ryanu & Nazuno
20. "Christmas show", pic. chibi Sleepie, Red, Dark, Snickers
21. "Kraj pisaków", Naruto parody
22. "Monsieur le frere du roi", pic. chibi Christopher Mae from musical "Le Roi Soleil"

Yea... Hella lot. And anyway, if you fancy some pic made by me, then don't hesitate and ask me ^^.